Man, brownbaggas are all around these days, I tell you. This woman is no average brownbagger as you’ll soon see. All I’m saying is that I’d be very cautious before jumping into the sack w/ her. You never know what could pop out (apart from her head from under the brownbag, of course)…

Squint, grab your vodka shot and remove the brown bag »

When the lights go off, it’s all good, baby!

Pimp The Links!

* Nick Lachey is finally using his fame & fortune for the right reasons—to sleep w/ chicks almost half his age (she’s 18, he’s 32)!! Go Nick!!
* Mischa Barton STILL puffin’ Cisco Alder pipe.
* Kayne West to play Jesus in Passion of The Christ II!!!
* More pics of Butterface Jodie Marsh.
* Sharon Stone is entering philanthropist stage of life. Good for her!
* Britney’s in control of everything except for her hubs, credit cards, bank accounts, kid, etc.
* Osbourne Family Portrait…Jack couldn’t fit in b/c of Kelly. Pity the foo!
* Confirmed: Nicole Narian’s a greedy whore—but she’s still Waaaahbaaayumm hot, baby!
* Myleene Klass is looking VERY DELICIOUS! My God. I want some of that lipstick…on my body, yo!

Squint, grab your vodka shot and remove the brown bag »

It seems as though I’m on a Penelope Cruz tirade ever since my Matthew McConaughey post.

I don’t really care for Penelope Cruz, I think she’s overrated in the looks department.

I categorize Penelope under the Jennifer Aniston Category. The Category in which they look really pretty with their makeup done, hair done and a really great photographer who can airbrush the hell outta the pics. I don’t see how Tom Cruise woke up to that Butterface every morning. He must have woken up next to hot man instead to counteract her horrific looks.

P.S. Lose the bangs! The 80’s teacher look is SO out.

Squint, grab your vodka shot and remove the brown bag »